Top 3 Most Disappointing Movies of 2015

Perhaps it is because I am semi-selective about what I see but I generally enjoy the movies I see. I mean why else would most of my reviews be at least B’s? Regardless I too fall into the hype trap for movies and every year it will bite me in the ass at least a few times. I can usually still dig a movie if it’s as simple as being too bloated for it’s own good (Avengers: Age of Ultron) or not being what I thought it should be (Maggie, Crimson Peak). Still there are some movies that are so bad or have hype that is so unjustified that you can’t let it go. With that rambling out of the way here are my Top 3 Most Disappointing Movies of 2015.

Black Mass

This movie was pushed as Johnny Depp’s big return. After a string of flops he was going to show that he still had it as a serious actor. On this front the movie is actually pretty successful. While the make up is a bit goofy Depp commits to the role and makes it work. The problem is the rest of the film. Everything is just so… bland. As a whole I like the cast. In other movie Joel Edgerton’s John Connolly would be a decent performance. He particularly works well off of David Harbour as John Morris. But compared to the believably-over-the-top Depp? They’re just a couple of Boston crime movie cliches. This isn’t helped by writers Jez Butterworth and Mark Mallouk. While Butterworth has worked on interesting films like Edge of Tomorrow this film feels very straight forward and by the numbers.

Despite a good cast and being about the infamous Whitey Bulger everything is very been there, done that. Without Depp’s scenery chewing (in the best way possible) Black Mass is a below average Boston gangster film. Before I forget I have to mention that Benedict Cumberbatch’s Boston accent is atrocious. I swear the one I do when I get drunk is better.

Sinister 2

All things considered a decent sequel to Sinister 2 is easy enough to make. I’m not even talking great just a decent sequel. Some decent jump scares, a few violent “home movies” and some decent style visually. While this wouldn’t create the most original film it’s the least I expected going into Sinister 2. Some how, some way the movie failed to live up to my lowered expectations.

Instead of this a modern take on the boogeyman like the first we got some of the worst child actors I have ever seen try to be spooky. I don’t know why they went this route but it did not work. I cringed more at the performances than anything actually happening on screen. At least that’s something new though. I swear every scare put on screen was something from the first. From the scares scares to the end-of-the-movie jumper it felt cut and pasted from the first movie. Even the “home videos”, basically the handheld pseudo-snuff films throughout, were messed up. With silly ideas and terrible CGI it all felt very cheap. This all starts from the top though and Cirian Foy (director of Citadel) was just the wrong person for this project. The slow, almost too plain directing of Citadel doesn’t work with such supernatural fare. Without the more stylish directing of creator Scott Derrickson we are left with a very flat, very straight-to-video feeling final product.

While it wasn’t the worst horror film I saw this year (The Gallows) I went into that expecting a bad movie. Sinister 2 though? It somehow took my already low expectations and still left me disappointed.
Terminator: Genisys

We all went in knowing Terminator: Genisys was going to be a bit of a disaster. Between the time travel heavy plot and the uninspiring trailer it didn’t look the best. Even worse what should have been a big twist (John Connor being a cyborg) was revealed in teh second trailer and numerous TV spots. So imagine my surprise when the film started out okay. Sure it wasn’t the best but it was a decent sci-fi popcorn flick. As soon as Lee Byung-Hun started kicking ass I was on board.

This good will was quickly lost when Lee’s T-1000 was dispatched and it became a series of baffling decisions. Skynet is now an app? That is somehow changed because Dr. Who attacked John Connor in the future? That is so big it is given as a gift? That’s like giving someone Twitter as a gift and even then Twitter is at least online. I know you can’t ask for too much logic in a Terminator movie but to lack it screw up this much? That’s just annoying.

Even worse the casting, which on the surface looks great, generally doesn’t work. By all accounts Emilia Clarke is great on Game of Thrones as Daenerys. Maybe it’s the difference in characters but whatever magic she has there is completely lost in Terminator: Genisys. Jai Courtney as Kyle Reese is just as bland as every other Jai Courtney role and Jason Clarke’s John Connor is just a bit better. The only actor who really works is Arnold and that’s because his whole reusing old catch phrases schtick finally fits in.

Unlike a lot of other movies it’s not the worst idea to give the Terminator franchise a soft reboot. Between how convoluted the story got and the misfires that were T3 and Salvation this should help streamline things for new and old audiences alike. Terminator: Genisys did it all completely wrong. After a surprisingly decent start it quickly dashes any hope the movie down the drain with some mediocre effects, a somehow even sillier plot and enough time travel logical fallacies to make Doc Brown kill himself. Now were there worse movies? Oh yeah. The Gallows was probably the worst thing I’ve seen this year but I expected it to be. Now to go in, have some hope before having it quickly flushed down the toilet? Now that’s just cruel.


About Douchebag Batman

If you found this blog, I probably know you personally. Basically I'm using this for movie reviews, MMA previews, and the occasional wackiness from out of left field. Shout out to the horror short Welcome to the Party for the hella boss avatar. I'm not very good at selling this, am I? Anyway just check it out. You'll be filled with laughter. From my actual writing or realizing "Wow this guy needs an editor".
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