Dear Miley,

Stop it. We tolerated your “We Can’t Stop” video because “OMG ItZ s0 WE1rD!!1!”. Ignoring how student filmy/bootleg Harmony Korine we accepted it as your extended post-Disney Channel phase. The poor cultural appropriation was the natural follow up to years of being Hannah Montana. We even accepted the song despite it being K-Mart brand Ke$ha. We let it fly because it came off as a kid with no real grasp of the real world trying to grow up. Then came the MTV Video Music Awards.

This was the ultimate “look at me, attention whore, I’m so EDGY” performance in quite some time. From twerking (which lets be real has nothing on krumping) with teddy bears to grabbing your crotch the stench of “Daddy didn’t love me enough” emitted from my TV. Then came Robin Thicke.

You made the guy who’s gimmick is oozing sex appeal look uncomfortable. More importantly it came off as fucking creepy. Not the age difference or him being married but how adamant you were when it came to molesting the guy. Just very desperate looking overall. Now I’m not the biggest fan of Alan Thicke’s kid but I really felt sorry for him and Kendrick Lamar having to share the stage with you.

I feel your pain Drake. I feel it.
I feel your pain, Drake. I really do. Again I realize the whole “sexual blossoming” gimmick happens with every pop star; those post-Disney Channel in particular. But this all comes off as really scattershot in comparison to those that have done it in the past. While Janet Jackson and Britney Spears were effective when they did it this just came off as a girl playing dress up. I really think you should lay low, get with your manager, and hopefully luck into the “No I’m mature, totally” stage Madonna had. Now I’m sure I’ve ranted and repeated myself and I doubt anyone will read/care about this. If so that is fine. But if Miley Cyrus were to take something out of this it would be the following.

Rihanna was embarrassed for you. RIHANNA. Process that.

Douchebag Batman


About Douchebag Batman

If you found this blog, I probably know you personally. Basically I'm using this for movie reviews, MMA previews, and the occasional wackiness from out of left field. Shout out to the horror short Welcome to the Party for the hella boss avatar. I'm not very good at selling this, am I? Anyway just check it out. You'll be filled with laughter. From my actual writing or realizing "Wow this guy needs an editor".
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