UFC 140 Play-by-Play

So when my friend B can’t make it for a show I usually text out play by play for him. Now he had his second child but also it is his 2 year anniversary to his lovely wife. I think Jon Jones vs Lyoto Machida is more important but he begs to differ. Nevertheless I decided to give you a glimpse at how this usually goes. Spelling errors and all. Why? Well doing these text results was one of the reasons I started doing my MMA previews. Also, and this is ego boosting, I think I do good play by play. At least through text while keeping up with the fight. So have a glimpse here at how the recaps go. Because you totally care.
*****

Mark Hominick vs Korean Zombie
They walk out, zombie clocks mark and its over. Korean Zombie makes my people proud.

Brian ebersole vs claude patrick/claude patricks massive forehead
Rd 1

Its like titos head but in 1 spot. Light sparring to start. Forehead stuffs the takedown. Clinch to the cage. A lot of nothing. Forehead gets a guollotine. Brian gives the thumbs up. Gets out and back up. Brian goes for another tskedown. Cage clinching
10-9 forehead

Rd 2
Ebersole did a wacky tskedown fake. Forehead takedown fails. Ebersole can’t get the takedown. NEITHER OF YOU CAN GET THE TAKEDOWN! DEAL!!!! Joe and Mike literally spend 30 secs on what a sherpa hoodie is.
10-9 forehead for like 10 punches more

Rd 3
Brian takedown stuffed. Finally gets a takedown. Claude gets up and then crumples. Now up. At least no cage clinch. Claude gets a head & arm but brisb escspes. Tries again but loses it.
10-9 brian, I guess.
Brian ebersole wins via split decision.

Titos head looks bigger than usual.

Tito Ortiz’s Head vs Lil Nog
Rd 1

Tito now goes by “The people’s champ”. Awesome. Tito gies in swinging. Good uppercut. Fails the takedown. Knees from the clinch from tito. Nog gets a good left. Knocks tito down. Tito tries a triangle briefly. Nog just going like a machine. To be fair, tito is defending well. Not well enough.
Lil Nog via TKO.

It was a knee that took tito down. Sorry for missin that.

Frank Mir vs Big Nog
Rd 1

Nog gets some strikes early. His takedowb stuffed. A good knee against the cage from mir. One from nog. Frank takes it down to halfguard but nog gets up. Elbow fron nog. Agsin. Thet seperate Nog gets a big punch that nearly kos him. Nog gets a guillotine but mir rolld out. Mir GETS A KIMURA!!!! Nog taps!!!!!! FUCK THIS WAS GOOD!!!!!!!! Oh fuck!!!! Mir broke Nogs arm!!!! It just pops!!!! Fucking insane!!!!!!!! God bless replay.

Machida vs Jones
Rd 1

Fight starts like all machida fights. Leg kick from jones. Machida counter rushes but nothin big. Another rush, mavhida dodges a knee. Jones does a grip of useless spin kicks. Just noticed. And the knee sidekick. Uppercut from mavhida. Another rush that clips jones. Spin kick.
10-9 Machida

Rd 2
Low kick from jones. Then 1 from machida. More from jones. Just a lot of jones leg kicks. Machida rush! Big right from jones. Takedown from jones. Tgen an elbow. Machida gets up. Doc checks tge cut. Its bad but I’ve seen worse. Jones has a guillotine choke on machida and its over. Machida was OUT.
Jones via submission. Damn.

*****

In retrospect, those really aren’t the best. UFC 139 was better text wise. Also, my phone has a crapload of ways to screw up takedown. I mean being in a rush and on my phone doesn’t count but there are a minimum of different ways it is spelled in there. Also, I really let my bias show, don’t I? At the very least I’m pretty sure any website wouldn’t appreciate me declaring a new Korean to be proud of. Nor would they appreciate just going “Oh fuck!!!” at the end of a fight.

Nevertheless, there you go. Just a glimpse into my goofy little world when it comes to fights.

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About Douchebag Batman

If you found this blog, I probably know you personally. Basically I'm using this for movie reviews, MMA previews, and the occasional wackiness from out of left field. Shout out to the horror short Welcome to the Party for the hella boss avatar. I'm not very good at selling this, am I? Anyway just check it out. You'll be filled with laughter. From my actual writing or realizing "Wow this guy needs an editor".
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